...lessons pondered, lessons learned...

So it's been a month since I flew out LAX at 7am to a new place, new people, new adventures. And even though I'm back at school, sharpened over 140 pencils and copied 10 reams of paper, I realized I never really did post specific things I learned, although I'm sure I've shared some of it with all of you.

*FINDING GOD IN THE MOST RANDOM PLACES-Before leaving, a vision was shared with me...one of walking and turning corners, seeking and finding God. I felt like everywhere we went, God was everywhere...and it totally SURPRISED me. My expectations where petty and small compared to the glories He had for us. I'm still blown away that we danced and ate at a wedding within 24 hours of being in the country. We roamed among a complete ghost town, only to find a wadi flowing and filled with water bustling with people. I snorkeled next to a huge turtle. We drove through hundreds of miles of deserts and found oasises (is that the plural of oasis??) where people have settled. I experienced God's grace in the people who opened their homes up to us...complete strangers....and people who don't know Jesus. We made tons of friends at Starbucks of all places...How can I not say God was in this? What was really cool was I didn't really have to DO anything. Most of the time, I was just myself and God just showed up. If anything, I'd say that I was willing...which kind of leads to the next point...

*LIVING LIFE "INSHAALLAH"- I felt like more than a cultural trip or vision trip, this trip was more of a spiritual discipline in trust God...every day, every moment. Try waking up everyday for two weeks and not have a set plan. As someone who has control issues, this was really really trying. Jasmine and I oftentimes referred to it as living "inshaallah"-Arabic for God willing. Omanis used "inshaallah" for everything...I'll see you later inshallah...we'll be there inshallah... I felt like at least in their culture, there's such a focus on letting God have that control in everything. Everyday for two weeks was just that-"inshaallah". And now I have the tangible experience of knowing I shouldn't fret about life, friendships, relationships, and daily needs. God knows it all "inshaallah".

*A BIGGER UNDERSTANDING OF GRACE-Last week at house church, Erin asked us "When was a time when you experienced God's grace?" Defining grace as more than just forgiveness but actual unmeritted favor, I immediately thought back to Oman and being received and loved by complete stranger. There was no hidden agenda or hope of reciprocity. First off, it amazes me that grace can come from people who don't claim Jesus as Lord. But that's not to say they weren't sincere. I was blessed by non-Christians and THAT blows me away.
In a bigger definition of the word, I was finally able to see how much God couldn't accept us for own actions, but through salvation in Christ alone. I really had to wrestle with my faith the last few days of the trip. I actually HATED the fact that God couldn't "bend the rules" of these people. It seemed so unfair that such great people are condemned. It really knocked me over for a few days, even after the trip. But then I realized the GRACE that lies in salvation through Christ alone. If I were to accept that our works would be good enough to save us, even though good works would save, I'd have to accept that bad works condemn...and in that we'd all fail. Okay...so maybe it's not a new message...but for me...to be consumed by doubt and now finding reason to praise...that means everything. Instead of hating God, I hate Satan for blinding my friends; eyes from the truth. AND THAT'S IT...that's the message I have to share with my friends who are enslaved to thinking "...just as long as my good outweighs my bad..." Jesus offers His Grace, unmerited favor, and it's not us in charge of saving ourselves.

*HOME IS NOT A PLACE ON EARTH-Being there, I was fully aware of how much I didn't fit in. Many parts fit beautifully, others...I know would just stick out if I were to live there. But coming back was strange too. To be very honest, I don't like being identified as an "American Christian" here or abroad. There are so many stereotypes and views that I don't like to associate with that. So coming back was strange too. I often feel like I stick out depending on who I'm hanging out with and what "kind" of circle. And so, even more as I just learn to be comfortable in who God made me to be "in my own skin"...I realize that home can never be there and home isn't here. The only time I'll finally find rest from all the self-identity stuff I have to work though is in heaven. It kind of sounds really sad, but actually, that's the way it should be....I think at least.


THAT'S GREAT, BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO DO NOW?
Like I mentioned on past posts, I think I finally found "the place". I'm not sure how much of that was God or me. I'm not sure if it was me "seeing how I could 'fit'", or me falling in love with the country and the people or "finally choosing a place and not going on every short term mission trip to find some great, huge revelation of where I'm supposed to be" (to paraphrase Larry). But I'm glad that I can finally say "Lord, this is a place I really want to claim for you." I feel like I can finally be specific when I pray for Muslims, because I know some I LOVE. And I tell you, the more I learn about this country and these people, the more I see how unique and strategic it is for the Kingdom. I want to go back long-term. I think living there for years would be the most ideal situation, but it's not going to happen anytime soon. Months ago, I would have cried...I've always been one to anticipate and complain about God's timing. But even there, I had dreams about coming back to teach...not in the anxiety, but in excitement and peace. So now, I'm just waiting...inshaallah...in His timing and His ways. I think I'm more aware of my needs and things that need to happen before I go. which is okay....I'm having a blast doing what He's called me to do here for now.