...waiting...

Waiting is hard...I don't like waiting in the states...I don't like waiting here.

 

Finally my friends came from the states.  I can't really say I fully enjoyed my first day and a half here by myself, but I was really really relieved to see my friends at the airport.  If anything, that time gave me some good communing with the L-rd, entrusting my frailty and fears to Him.  It made me realize that being here as a single woman is hard, my sole sufficiency and security must rest in Him.

 

Yesterday was our first full day here with the team.  We reconnected with some of our friends (all guys), played baseball with them on the beach, and rode out on a boat in the Arabian Sea.  Today we went to the big mall here, in hopes to meet new people.  That didn't happen and one of team members is sick. 

 

Last night I had the very cool experience of meeting a miss. here.  We're actually borrowing his two cars while we are here.  (Did I mention the rental car I rented had a flat tire???)  I was encouraged to sit with him and listen to his experience here.  It fired up my hope to do long term work someday AND opened my eyes to some very harsh realities of that kind of work.  Things like learning the language, raising support, being here single or raising a family, dealing with government.  Although I am slowly letting go of the "demand" I used to place on myself on how doing long term work is the only reason why G-d planted these experiences, passions, desires within me-meeting the miss. yesterday showed me how much I really wouldn't mind if He called me to it.  It just won't be as glorious as I have always pictured it.  I would have to ask myself some very tough questions like could I really handle years of committing to learning this language, the possibility of doing this as a single woman versus being wife and/or mother in the M-ddle East, the demands of m-nistry cross-culturally, etc. blah blah blah.  Again, I'm encouraged and yet faced with a glimpse of the reality of it. I hope I can meet more miss.here.

 

The girls are invited to a wedding tomorrow with our friend's M and H.  We are all pretty excited as we haven't really connected with women yet and it has been cross-culturally awkward hanging out with Om-ni guys even with the guys in our group.  I tell you...never have I been to place where I have felt "I wish I was a man" so strongly.  More men know English, there are more men on the street...it's just really tough.  And yet I have to cling on to the truth that G-d has created me a woman and placed me in this place as a woman for a reason.

 

Well emotionally I feel a little discouraged as I write this post.  I get anxious in waiting around and actually meeting people, whether new or old friends.  I fight strife, the feeling that G-d isn't at work when I'm not doing anything.  Please pr-y that G-d would strip this "J+sus mentality" from me.  Pr-y for divine appointments and that He would make His will known and clear and that we would immediately recognize His move and obey Him in action.  Pr-y that I do not get satisfied seeking visible results or discouraged when I feel thoughts of "not doing enough". 

 

Again and again...thanks for reading-your pr-yers and e-mails of encouragement.